May 1 – Friday–
–Had an emotional breakdown in the shower. “What if BE won’t head up Transition Town’s efforts for Waste at the Art Festival over this tree and park vision disagreement?”
–Had pulled myself together and about to get ready for an early meeting with my client when she called to cancel. I didn’t handle that too well either. Especially when she said “why don’t you just give the Festival to someone else to run?” Yeah, give up my most steady income and I am sure someone would want to take it over now that it has new challenges, when couldn’t find anyone in the past to last more than a year or two.
–Not sure I want her to work on my for Tune-up day . . .
–Walked to Tune-up and had a short session of Japanese Acupuncture. Very different. Did go for the lymph session, we just didn’t talk about much.
–Walked to a Transition Street meeting. My neighbor bought me a “drink” -An Italian Soda- when she heard of my breakdown. And in caring about the response she had seen from BE, which when she mentioned that brought out my breakdown story.
–Was going to go to Sun Water opening, but had an hour to wait and my camera battery was low, so walked home with everyone.
–Got home and the exhaustion and dizzy factor the Japanese Treatment person had warned me about took over. Could barely function. Watched TV and ate a mango and some bread with Almond Butter for dinner. Early to bed.

May 2 – Saturday–
–Started in the backyard with my tenants to unbury two old wheelbarrows. Had to clear fallen trees and rocks. But got them out. They will plant Kale in them and keep them in the back to see how the sun works there for Kale.

–He chopped up lots of tiny branches and hauled them up the hill to the “compost” area. He also moved a new big rock that had fallen on my long gutter extension crushing it. And I mean a BIG rock!
–We took 2 pallets to the front, added a plywood bottom to an old shelf unit I had brought out of the basement and the first raised bed was created. They brought home 2 more pallets they found free on Craig’s List to start the second raised bed. Not sure what will plant there, but will keep dogs off, not sure about people. No tomatoes for sure. Too tempting when they get ripe.

–Brian Webinar at noon for a break.

–They also made an old log at the bottom of the stairs into a large planter. Was happy to see the chocolate mint was thriving here from last year’s planting.

–Meeting at CMWL at 6pm. As I walked down there realized I was very stiff.
–Catching up with emails and Facebook, not time for an early night and hopefully won’t be too stiff in the morning. Want to do some more gardening, but also need to do computer work. Must finish Bonus for Squirrel and get those books published.

May 3 – Sunday–
–Went to Memorial Park to meet ThL & SH. ThL arrived and I looked at my phone. Text from SH, “something came up, meet at noon?” No, we were at the park. ThL and I looked at the new idea for configuring the stage on the raised area. Big memorial rock a bit of a challenge, but it can work. Measured distance to electric. Workable.
–Took some pictures and other measurements relating to the Memorial Tree Challenge. As difficult as I thought it would be.
–Home made pancakes with berries. Looked at schedule. Realized was missing the Mayan Chanting I had wanted to go to. Walked back, took pictures of beautiful Iris.
–Got there just as going into the chanting. Missed the explanation. Still was good to be in that meditation state.
–Lunch by Adams Mtn Cafe- snacked a bit there also.
–Blessing of an ancient Juniper – 1,000 years old or more — was what I really wanted to participate in today. Walked up the path. Beautiful ceremony. Came time to plant some seeds, tobacco and water around the 4 directions at its roots. “We are one person short, Julia, would you like to do this?” “I would be honored.” Really special moment. I so love trees. Especially meaningful with all the drama around the Memorial Tree.
–Chatted with AR for a bit about the challenge and let her talk about a challenge in her life also. Good exchange of caring energy.
–Leaving, my hiking partner & Communidance friend outside chatted.
–Walking home, deer above by the lilacs. Got a few good pictures.

The lilacs are just so very gorgeous this year.

–Home, rested, phone call from Housemate, so happy I talked her into going to the horse training today. Just what she needed.
–Tenants finishing up the raised bed in the front of the house. I went out and planted some peas and flower seeds. Old seeds, will see what happens.
–Did some more weeding. Noticed that the berry bush Mel had planted last year had lots of babies. Really need to plant the ones given to me this year and the roses.
–And then at dinner a wave of depression came over me. Other people devaluing of the Art Festival, all the wrong choices I have made for giving myself and my money away, trusting so many people that were conning me on many levels, just not feeling good about myself right now. Where to go with this? Not sure . . .

May 4 – Monday–
–Created letter for membership to sign, sent it out for corrections.
–Took photos of the garden areas & posted some on FB
–Sent note to PPB about Creative District Convene in Ft. Collins as requested.
–Gathered what I needed for presentation about what is going on in Memorial Park.
–Walked to CMWL meeting at the MAC. Was raining when I left.
–Went to bed and read “Violin”. Really makes me want to write my story.
–My back pain happened again.

May 3 – Tuesday—-
–DT called and met to discuss Memorial Tree situation. Talked about many things about other events she is part of. Make it more visible by painting the poles. If need to move it, have to do it after this year’s festival when it is dormant. Talked 2+ hours.
–Collected mail at PO. Left my keys in the box. Realized it when got home. Walked back to get them.
–Replied to email from new City Manager about time to meet next week.
–Set time with Marta to meet next week also
–Reconciled Bank Accounts and paid some bills
–Watched Expert Media Show with Daniel Hall speaking about email marketing
–Tried to figure out how to create line drawings in Adobe Illustrator. Not very successful. Can’t download Pixelator – need higher operating system.
–Did get some squirrel coloring images that I like.
–Stayed up way too late. Then read Violin – still haven’t started my story yet, but need to do that.

May 6 – Wednesday–
–Woken by Mel’s boss at 5:55 am to ask if she was going to the client at 7am. I was in a deep, deep sleep. Had no idea as Melody is house-sitting, not hanging here.
–City meeting will happen on Monday, suppose to have been my day off, going to it.
–JC came to look at chairs. She likes one, good to open some space in my office.
–FaceBook wants a new set-up for business pages. Tried to find a way around it. Couldn’t. Will try to have to set it up tomorrow. Really frustrated that need to use personal FB to be the admin. Shared info w/ JC and seems she has done this now.
–Nat & Restorative Justice–doesn’t make sense to me. Need to deal with bigger picture, not just D and the raging conversation.
–AnR and set date to meet on Monday to use the Gift Cert at Mona Lisa’s
–Dinner, watched TV – 2 drinks, why was I trying to turn myself off?
–Tony Laidig webinar touched a cord deeply. My world of chaos has come to be how I think is normal.
–Multi-tasking when he was speaking of things I had heard before. Sized images for FB posts about Rest & Creation on Festival FB page tomorrow.

May 7 – Thursday–
–Went to Home Depot for 4 Tomato Plants for $10 and a few other items for the garden.
–Stopped at Ln’s. Chocolate and Jelly Beans, not a good lunch. She has a new RV for camping. So very beautiful and she will use it a lot!
–At King’s bought some treat foods for myself. Can tell I am not in my frugal or careful eating mind. But really need something to eat different than what I have been eating lately. Same old, same old has gotten very old.
–Didn’t get FB new request handled.
–Listened to the last half hour of Laidig webinar. Yes, festival situation is a log jam. But how do I walk away from something that has been a part of my life and livelihood for almost 41 years?
–Saw an email about the Works Session being cancelled & this was moved to a regualar Council Session just as I was about to leave for the Ruxton Incline meeting. Called L at Chamber. She had been stuck in the nasty hailstorm across town & was still there. She had just left a message for the Mayor saying we need a work session, not to do this at a regular meeting.
–Knowing I will be late, walked out the door. A car hails me and it is Shrl from the Creative District group. I ask if she is headed to City Hall, past it yes, but she gave me a ride, so wasn’t too late.
–Talked with City Manager and confirmed our Monday morning meeting. He hadn’t read PARAB’s report. Send it to him tomorrow.
–Talked to the Mayor and emphasized why we need a Work Session situation, not a regular Council meeting. He there was only 1 other agenda item for the regular meeting. Then he said in the past there have times when a Work Session happened before a regular meeting and he would try to set that up. “PARAB’s wings need to be clipped.” was a statement made also. Gives me hope we can reverse some new rules and future plans PARAB is proposing to keep festivals financially & logistically viable in Memorial Park.
–Ran into Gwn on way home. Mentioned I would like to talk some things out with her. Invited me to come Friday. Get home and realize I have 2 days of no meetings, then all day Sunday at CMWL shop. Probably not going to work.
–Eating rather unusual way. Did end with a nice salad for dinner.