April Fools Day Had Me Very Stressed

And that is no joke.

Skipping ahead from my last post to now as this is sort of written out in an email.

I had a health appointment with a doctor to analyze the abdominal cat scan I had a couple weeks ago. This had been ordered by two different doctors at appointments within just 10 days of each other. I haven’t seen a doctor in almost three years when my doctor of over 25 years had gone into private practice. I had put into my mind that their reactions to the lumps in my abdomen were just because they had never felt these fibroids that I have lived with for over 12 years and nothing new.

But on April 1st, the first 30 minutes of my day, then the next 90 minutes leading up to having to be at Commonwheel to sign up for the next 6 month of word dates on the calendar had me spinning.
 
I really hadn’t been stressing at all about my health appointment that was scheduled for 11 am today until all this other weirdness came at me all within less than 2 hours.
 
I was awoken from a sound sleep by the phone ringing at 7am.
It was a past Commonwheeler calling from Florida about the 40th Anniversary Old Spokes show saying she couldn’t have all the items I needed for the Artist Statement as she was in Florida helping a mutual potter friend to get back to her Colorado home a month earlier than planned.
And she had forgotten about the 2 hour time difference.
In my groggy mind, I told her that was fine, friends come first and I could work with her being late with the photos and Bio.
Then she put our friend on the phone.
Our mutual friend sounded like the “circular” phone conversations I had had with my Mom for a few years before she passed.
This conversation was very upsetting and brought back lots of sad memories that rushed into my head.
 
Just as I hung up, a huge crashing sound was heard outside my window shaking me up quite a bit. Then more smaller crashes, and the sound of saws.
They were removing an old heater and its “chimney” and not being very careful about noise and just 3 feet from my outside wall.
 
The day before, I had discovered that my toilet was constantly running, and had turned the water valve off after flushing it last night.
After using the toilet, I couldn’t turn the water back to flush the toilet. That had me stressed a bit.
Then there was a missed call from my plumber friend while I was in the shower saying he had the stomach flu again and couldn’t help me with the toilet or the cottage leaky roof until he was healthy again. Adding to my feeling of stress a bit more.
 
And while I was in the shower, a big brown fast moving spider that I couldn’t identify as not being a Brown Recluse kept scampering along the wall. I usually capture and take spiders outside. But he me nervous as I couldn’t properly identify him, so I drowned him instead. Then had a wave of guilt rush over me.
 
I stopped and took some deep breaths and fixed a quick breakfast.
 
And as the time approached when I would normally, on every other Tuesday, be settling in for a Group Healing phone call with Aine, I had to get out the door instead. I needed to be at Commonwheel to get in line to sign up on the work shift calendar. For some odd reason, Aine had cancelled the last one with no explanation. I really hate missing these calls and being in the circle with others to send energy to the Earth and others who need healing. But then I also couldn’t afford not getting good dates for working the Commonwheel Gallery during the summer months when I had lots of things to get done relating to the Festival and I was traveling for one week near my advertising deadline. So it couldn’t be helped but to miss this call.
 
My driveway comes out onto a very busy road and is on a blind curve and people often tend to gun their car to go faster coming from the left. When I got to the end of my driveway, the construction vehicles were parked so it was even more difficult than usual to see if it was safe to leave my driveway from the right. And of course, I hear someone gunning the engine to speed up coming from the left. I sit and breath, the bravely pull out into the street and safely get on the road.
 
Normally I would just walk to Commonwheel, but having no idea how long it would take doing the calendar and having my health appointment that was about 30 minutes away, well walking wouldn’t work.
 
When I came into the Gallery, many people had already arrived before me, remembering how a double member had taken forever to get her shifts last time, I just stressed out visibly. And as I mentioned I had a health appointment to make, my voice even shook. I realized I was not doing well. So went to make some copies for the Festival and someone was using the copier, so not a private space, nor could I do what I needed to do then.
 
I had some masks that I made on Sunday to put into the Gallery, so did that while I was waiting. So on one level I was focused on what I needed to do, but on another level, I was visibly stressed. And a couple of people commented upon that. I used the phone call and the doctor appointment as the reason for my stress, and that is basically true. Just had let it all get me more worked up than normal, and that isn’t good.
 
As I mentioned earlier, this health appointment had come from seeing 2 new doctors within 10 days of each other and both pushing on my abdomen and saying in worried voices that they wanted to order the very same test, a cat scan of my abdomen. And the person who set the appointment had been clear I needed to see a doctor, not a nurse practitioner for the results.
 
I had easily stayed calm this whole month of waiting for the reading of the Cat Scan, that they just had never felt the uterine fibroids I have had these many years, and they are large, but not really a bother, and that that was all they had felt. Nothing new or more threatening.
 
And my past doctor had monitored them with the rule that if they gave me pain, or other problems, we would look at other options.
But the memory of the reactions of those two doctors kind of took over my mind a bit after the talk with Patty . . . so now all of this was coming into my head and getting me more nervous about what they would say with all the other odd things that had happened this morning.
 
Plus all of the odd extra things on my mind for the 40th Anniversary show and the challenges of the relocation of the Art Festival just sort of engulfed me, put me into kind of a high stress mode.
 
Even my blood pressure was higher than normal at the Doctor’s office. And I knew it.
I asked the nurse to give me a minute to breath, after the reading confirmed it was higher than normal.
The nurse agreed that was a good idea.
Five minutes later, the second reading, it was closer to my normal numbers, which are usually pretty low.
 
I was ever so happy to see I had a woman doctor, as I had been used to a woman doctor for many years and seem to relate better to female professionals than males.
She began by telling me naming all of my organs and telling me they were healthy and normal. Then she said there is a large mass in my uterus, that is partially calcified, or in other words, very solid.
She concurred with my past doctor that I didn’t need to do anything other than what I have been doing with these fibroids, unless I have pain.
 
I asked her about my herniated navel and she said that unless it was causing me pain not worth surgery right now.
 
Another reason one of the doctors had me do the scan was because I had a complaint about a bad pain in my back that would radiate out causing me extreme pain. I could breath into it, drink water, lay flat and take a Percogesic and it would dissipate. But it worried me more than the fibroid. She said the fibroid was no where near where this pain began and I might want to have a look at my lungs, since is was behind there. I keep thinking it could be from a pinched nerve, but she had no opinion about that.
 
So then she said if I did want to do something with the Fibroid, it would involve a major surgical procedure, as was not small and being solid the laser surgery would not work. This would involve an expense and a long recovery time.
Or there was a procedure that had successfully reduced the size of such fibriods. It involved inserting a tube into my leg and injecting a gel that would stop the blood flow to the uterus and usually reduced fibroids up to 30 percent.
I must have turned white, as she asked what was wrong.
This procedure brought up the horrible time when I had a minor surgery that resulted in a major complication that I deal with every day. I told her about it quickly and briefly. It involved a tube in my leg and cause a huge blood clot. (I really do need to write this story soon.)
She agreed I probably didn’t want to do anything right now at all. And totally understood why I had such a strong reaction.
 
So I left there feeling good about the diagnosis, but rather perturbed at myself for being so stressed all morning long.
Yet writing this, I doubt anyone else would have stayed much calmer.
At least I didn’t yell at anyone or lose sight of what was truly important and stay on track to getting where I needed to be on time and taking care of what needed to be done that morning.
 
I had planned on getting some errands done, including shopping at Kohl’s with my 30% off coupon and looking at another day pack that had a water bladder for sale at Costco for a very good price. And so I did all that. And felt pretty calm and able to make good decisions about what I was buying. Even found some sandals that felt as good as ones that I have had for about 15 years and were falling apart. So that was a really good find!
 
Got home just in time for an interesting webinar with Tony Laidig.
Fixed myself a nice dinner using the cooked chicken I bought at Costco.
Then wrote a bit on my Spirit Renewing Hiking blog about the Calhan Paint Mines to end the day on a positive note.
 
Still just too much on my plate when this should be sort of my down time . . .
 




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